Facing Your Fears: Motivation from The Sound of Music after 31 years

As a young girl my favorite movie in the WORLD was The Sound of Music with Julie Andrews. I would watch that movie over and over and drive my parents CRAZY with my obsession. That movie is what drove me to music. I began singing in choirs and taking lessons because of it. It is what inspired my to spend a semester of study in Salzburg where it was filmed. I learned and memorized probably every single word to that movie. That movie has shaped me in so many ways at so many different points in my life. Today, Maria's words are still playing strong in my head as I hear her words as she returns from the convent to reunite with the children: "Oh Liesl, you cannot run away from your problems, you have to face them!"

In my process of bettering myself and my life, I am working hard to face my problems and fears and talking about it openly. I am taking this one thing at a time and one step at a time. I hope to relate to someone, anyone in this situation and perhaps we can bond over our similar fears and create a plan to face them together.

This is the day that I have been FEARING for the past 6 months. I have lost sleep, fretted, gotten sick, looked down on myself, put this off and watched as the days crept closer and closer to facing this problem. I have literally woken up in the middle of the night sweating and having nightmares. Every time I think about it, I get a cramp in my stomach and I force myself to think of something else.

It is no secret that I have taken out student loans to pay for my degrees in music. When I began to take out loans, I did not quite understand what that meant. I did not really care actually. I wanted to pursue my passion and it did not matter what I had to do to get there. I did not read or research or pay attention to what I was doing. I signed the paper and took the money and went after a dream. I am not advocating for, or against taking out student loans. I have mixed feelings on the subject. For myself personally, I have been able to learn and do so much that I could not have done. Through being granted these loans I have met amazing people (including my husband), and filled my life with music, art, travel and education. I have become (I think anyways) a great teacher, with so much to offer my students in the way of music, singing and life. I am the person I am today because of all these experiences. But there is always a looming fear in my mind of the debt I had collected to get this life, and it sometimes hinders me so much that I cannot enjoy the life I've created. What I am advocating for today is facing my problems so that I can live a fun filled, anxiety free life.

Today, November 10 2014, is the day that I had to deal with student loan payments. After all my years in school, I am finally at that dreaded 6 month mark where it is time to start to pay. I waited until the LAST POSSIBLE DAY to deal with this. It has been a source of deep anxiety for me. Wondering how I would pay and how much. Wondering if I would need to take on 6 jobs to survive the outrageous monthly amount.

It's weird how things happen right at the moment you need them. Conveniently, I am reading a book right now that has helped me to psychologically prepare for this moment. Brian Tracy's book "No excuses", discusses facing your fears. He explained that worrying about them could be actually worse then facing them. So, armed with words from Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music and encouragement from Brian Tracy in his book, I made the call. I was shaking and tears were running down my cheeks, and I am pretty sure my voice was cracking I was so afraid.

The call lasted 10 minutes including the wait time to talk to someone. A very nice lady asked me a few questions about my income and family and together we worked out a number that I could afford to pay each month. She said she would send me some follow up documents I should fill out. THAT WAS IT. It was done. The anguish and torture that compounded through WORRYING AND WORRYING about today was over in 10 painless minutes. Imagine how much anxiety and time I could have saved if I had just faced this problem months ago??

What a moment for me. What a break through for my anxiety driven personality. Afterwards, feeling so much better, I proceeded to make a list of other fears I wanted to conquer and made a plan to face those as well. I will sleep much better tonight armed with knowing that I can face my fears and survive them.

Julie Andrew's and The Sound of Music continue to influence my life even at my adult age. The influences change as words take on new meanings. That phrase ringing in my ears today, I probably did not even understand when I was young.

My takeaway:
1. Read personal development. What? READ??? ME?? Listen to an audiobook. Many are free on youtube.com. This 30 minutes a day I have been putting in are actually changing my life.
2. ID your fear: Just writing it down so you can think clearly about solutions help greatly.
3. Just take the first step. Your fear of your fear is probably worse than actually facing it. My problem of debt is far from being solved. But I took the first step today and am now motivated to continue.
4. Watch The Sound of Music: this isn't a takeaway, but seriously if you have not ever watched this movie you need to. Right now. Go.

 My health and fitness journey have driven me to be a better person, and I would love to help you find your way too.  Please subscribe to this blog, and "like" my Fb page fitoperasinger.facebook.com. Send me a message. REALLY! I want to hear from you!